Good grief! Sex, drugs, and rock & roll all came easier than learning to blog. How will I know if anyone read this blog? Are you there imoljr? Are you there Shakes? How about young punk?
All you naive hipsters out there need to wake the fuck up and take a close look at your meaningless lives. At what point did nonsensical internet ramblings become more entertaining than sex, drugs, and rock and roll? How can you consciously weigh the value of fashion, celebrity gossip, and stupid pet tricks over politics and everyday economic and environmental issues. And for those of you attempting to make livings as a professional bloggers, for the love of God, get on your feet and find your pasty white pimple-covered faces a real job so you can die knowing that you made a contribution to this society. Remember, the society you have hardly engaged since you convinced your mom to get you a new Dell back in 2004?
Why are WE here you ask? We understand this is the only way to get through to you, and yes, it's important enough to sacrifice a bit of our downtime from actual money making and social activism to motivate all you depressed, obese, pitiful wastes of pumping blood. Tune in for real issues and join the debate about important stuff that you would have been thinking about had you ever encountered a respectable human being along the unlikely course of your E! watching, Gawker browsing, Bravo educated lives.
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